We Have To Talk
We Have To Talk
by Gaetano LaMotta
ACT ONE Scene One
Rachel: You've been staring at that typewriter for forty-five minutes, David. If you're not going to write anything, why don't you just put it away for today?
David: It's almost there . . . it's too fuckin weird! It's unmistakable in my dream. Every vivid image, detail and nuance. In fucking TECHNICOLOR! Yet when I sit here, it's a blur!
Rachel: Look, David, you haven't done any real work for a week, yet we keep eating and using the gas and electricity and I have no intention of carrying all the bills alone. Got it!? So, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm going to the gym before I wind up smashing something around here. When I get back you'd better have put down five pages of this obsession of yours or it ends here. Enough, already!
David: All right! Just let me sit here and it'll come. It has to. It's right in there, I know it!
Rachel: (Walking toward the front door) . . . pathetic.
David: What? Now I'm pathetic?
Rachel: Not you . . . the fact that I love you so much! (Slams the door behind her).
David lays his head on the table in front of the typewriter. Fade to BLACK. Stage right only- lights up three quarters. David knocks on a front door. Angela answers.
Angela: Hi! Come on in.
David: Where's Andre?
Angela: I told you, silly. He's in New York till Monday. Are you O.K.?
David: Yeah, sure. I...I just had to talk to someone and I hope I m not being a pest.
Angela: Course not . . . what is it?
David: Huh?
Angela: What is it?
David: What's what?
Angela: David, you had to talk to somebody, remember? What are you on?
David: Nothing . . . you know I don t do that shit! I got the lead.
Angela: Pollard?!?
David: Yeah . . .
Angela: Are you nuts? You should be completely and throughly elated and you look as though you just lost your best friend! It's Sidney Pollard, you dumb shit!
David: Maybe I'm in shock.
Angela: You're not in shock and you're as transparent as my picture window. Now, what s going on with you!? You come in here and tell me you just got your very first lead in a major feature . . . with Sidney fucking Pollard and you look like you want a Drano cocktail! So, what is it, David?!
David: I did a really stupid thing. Possible career suicide.
LONG PAUSE
Angela: (Tired of the verbal dance) . . . what the Hell did you do!?
David: When Billy called to tell me that Pollard wanted me and was ready to sign . . . I threw a wrench in it.
Angela: Don't give me an anxiety attack, David, what the HELL did you do?
David: They're all set to sign Julie Robbins to play Sandy. I told Billy to tell Pollard that I wouldn't sign unless they read you before signing Robbins.
Angela: You IDIOT! Why would you, in your wildest dreams, think you could pull such a stupid stunt? You've done two supportings in made for TV movies, for God's sake, David! You have no clout, no leverage, and apparently your brain has fallen out of your head, too!
David: You'd have done it for me.
Angela: Bullshit, I would! You're my best friend in this whole fucked up world, but I'll be damned if I'd screw myself out of a major lead just to get you read !
David: Oh . . .
Angela: OH!? What the Hell is wrong with you, David? I can't even say, "Oh, how sweet of you", cause Pollard probably thinks we're two bush league assholes in cahoots!! What were you thinking?
David: I was thinking how much I want to work with you.
Angela: David, that s insane! Call Billy right this minute before he calls Sidney! You want to do something with me, we'll play chess or go to a Laker game, but for now get on that fucking phone and undo this, O.K.?
David: I can't.
Angela: Why not?
David: Because I'm not your best friend. I'm full of shit. I mean, I am your friend, but there's more to it than that. (Pause) . . . I just don't think you re in love with Andre.
Angela: Now what are you rambling about?
David: I don't believe you're in love with your husband.
Angela: I've never cheated on Andre!
David: I 'e never cheated on Caroline, either. That doesn't mean I stayed in love with her.
Angela: And what if I'm not? What business is that of yours? What does it have to do with this film . . . and your brilliant career move?
Fade to BLACK
Stage left lights up and David is back with head on the desk.
Rachel: David?...David, get your ass up!
David: (sleepily) . . . wha . . . ?
Rachel: How long have you been just sitting here, David, two, maybe three hours? I really can t take much more of this. Why don't you just forget about it and get back to work tomorrow? If it comes to you, you can just get some of it down on a micro-cassette. But right now this is tearing us apart and you can t even see it!
David: I just saw it again. I know I was there, but I can't put all the pieces together in the right place, yet.
Rachel: Just stop it, David!
David: Fine! I ll stop it! Whatever you want, honey! But this isn't over . . .
Rachel: Keep it up and it will be over.
David: Do you want me so stay?
Rachel: What kind of question is that? I'm pissed off at you right now, but I love you, you goofball. You'd better NOT be going anywhere . . . are you seeing someone?
David: No! Of course not! Sometimes I just feel like you really don t like me.
Rachel: Don't be juvenile. Of course, there are times I don't like you, but I LOVE you, David! And I hope to love you for the rest of my life, but lately you've been acting so weird, it scares me.
David: I'm sorry, baby. Maybe I will just forget about it. But . . .
Rachel: No BUTS!
David: Ok. Then do me a favor . . . call Mitch and tell him I'll be back in tomorrow. I'm gonna grab a quick shower and hit it for the night.
Rachel nods as he exits. Fade to BLACK.
Scene Two
David, in bed, turns over and falls asleep. Fade to BLACK. Lights up stage right. We see the continuation of the conversation between David and Angela.
Angela: I asked you what that has to do with your brilliant career move!
David: I guess you're not as sharp as I usually give you credit for. Why would I care whether you're in love with Andre or not? You're my best friend, my buddy, my pal. I've never abused the bounds of our relationship. I've always respected your marriage and always been an absolute gentleman with you, Angela! I've never acted on any of the true feelings I've had for you for all these years. I thought if we finally worked together and spent 16 hours a day together for six months you'd come to some miraculous revelation . . . that maybe deep down inside you might have some of the feelings for me that I have for you!
Angela: David! I don't want to hear this. You re . . .
David: In love with you! For quite sometime, now.
Angela: I just don't believe this!
David: What can't you believe? That someone could be in love with you and not look at you as some kind of prize? Like some piece of art for his collection?
Angela: That's not fair, David!
David: It may not be, but the sting lies in its truth! You know, I always figured after you d made it in this business, you'd leave him. I never figured out what you had going with Andre other than a marriage of convenience.
Angela (After a pause...much softer, slower) . . . are you trying to hurt me, David? I've never done any- thing bad to you . . . I've always been your friend, through everything you've been through.
David: And you haven't asked me to leave, yet . . . so first things first, Angela . . . are you in love with Andre?
Angela: (Pause)...no.
David: Is it all just too comfortable to give it up?
Angela: I don't know. Maybe . . .
David: You're the biggest risk taker I know, in your professional life. I have to know something. Is it maybe that you are feeling for me what I feel for you and you aren't willing to take that risk?
All stage lights UP
Angela/Rachel: Will you wake up!!!
Stage right: Black --Stage left we see David and Rachel.
Rachel: Wake up, David! Who are you talking to?
David: (groggy, waking) . . . why can't you just answer me, Ang . . . (eyes now open, looks at Rachel)
Rachel: Who ARE you talking to, David?!?
David: There's this dream, I keep telling you, Rachel. I know it would make a damned good play and every time I wake up, I lose it. It's like I was just there seeing it all like it was so real. And then I wake up and it just fades out.
Rachel: Look, when I talked to Mitch, he leveled with me, which is more than you ve done lately. Why didn't you tell me he offered to buy you out? You're about to throw away any chance you have for the future, David! You wrote one successful play ten years ago and you haven t done one damn thing since. You're a copywriter. A really good one. You write pleasant little blurbs for Balardi and G.L.E. and all the rest. Can't you just be satisfied with your success and leave this other thing alone?
David: Don't you think I ve tried? I'm not nuts, Rachel! I want to get this thing out of my head, but virtually every time I sleep, it's like this thing takes over and I can't stop.
Rachel: What about a . . . shrink?
David: Right. Tell this guy I have this dream in my head that just goes on and on and never goes away. He'll proceed to tell me how I must hate either my mother or father or it's because I kicked my dog when I was six. That s bullshit, Angela!
Rachel: Who the FUCK is Angela!
David: ( after thinking about it) . . . I think she's the woman in the dream!
Rachel: David ! Who . . . is . . . Angela?
David: She's in this thing that's taken over all my sleeping hours, Rach!
Rachel: She'd BETTER be! David, if you're fucking around on me, I'll kick your nuts up through the top of your head, I swear to God, I will!!
David: I'm not, Rachel. For the last year I've wanted to get another play written and I'm sorry I haven't told you that. I got lucky with Soulmates and felt like a failure when I couldn't follow it up with anything decent. I am happy with the agency, and I'm not about to let Mitch bully me out the door. However, this dream, when it's happening, is written, blocked, staged and just waiting to be put on paper. But I can't put it on paper . . . and, yeah, it is driving me a little nuts.
Rachel: Hey, this is a LOT nuts for me. It's 4:30 in the morning, I have to be up in an hour . . . and for your sake I hesitate to say it but, why don't we both get some sleep?
David: Yeah, good night. (Pause) Rachel . . . I love you.
Fade to BLACK. Lights up stage right on David and Angela.
Angela: Will you quit saying that, David?
David: Saying what?
Angela: Saying, "I love you". Just stop it. I want you to call Billy and fix your stupid move and I want you to do it now, David! We ll discuss whatever you want to after you rescind your idiotic demand!
David: When did I say "I love you"?
Angela: Just now! Are you sure you're not taking anything? This just isn't like you.
David: No, I guess not. I've been under this pressure lately to come up with a new campaign for Serpo, and I . . .
Angela: Campaign? Serpo?! David, now I know you've lost it! What in the Hell are you talking about?
David: We . . . Mitch and I, we just got the Serpo account . . . I think.
Angela: Tell me your name.
David: What kind of stupid question is that?
Angela: Tell . . . me . . . your . . . name.
David: David Rogers. Are you fuckin with my head, Angela?
Angela: David, your last name is Mitchell. David Mitchell! Don't play games with me now. Tick, tock, David. Call Billy right this minute or we could both be screwed . . . CALL HIM!!!
David: Billy? My cousin in Florida?
Angela: Fuck it! I'll call him myself, David, after which, I'm calling a doctor for you. (Angela picks up the phone and dials) Hello? Billy Carlton, please. Hello, Billy? Angela . . . Angela Massey, Billy. I'm calling about David Mitch . . . what? Massey. Angela Massey, Billy . . . what? The actress . . . Karen Kane on Night Hope , we've met several times. No, this is not Beverly, look, Billy, I've got a situation on my hands here with David Mitchell and he's . . . Mitchell!!! David Mitchell, your CLIENT, God-damn-it!! (holds phone away from her ear, pauses, stunned) (To David) He just hung up on me, David! Is the whole world going nuts??!!
David: Sit down, Angela. I have something to tell you.
Angela: (sitting) This is nuts!
David: I can't rescue you anymore, Angela. You'll have to work this out for yourself from here on in. You've felt this coming for a long time and you keep searching me out, every night, and frankly, I thought you'd have come to terms with it on your own by now. If you don't love him, just make the move. You've been going through the motions for years and no matter how hard you try, you just don't buy it yourself anymore.
Angela: But I loved him once. He did a lot for me.
David: You were never in love with him. You've honestly convinced yourself that I'm real and if I insist and fight hard enough, I'll rescue you from yourself. It's just not going to happen, Angela. Face it. It really is up to you. I have to leave now and you must face your demons alone.
Angela: (sobbing now) No! Please, don't go. Let me stay here with you. I can't do this alone.
David: You've been alone for years. You'll be alone as long as you stay here. Good- bye, Angela. (He begins to exit)
Angela: David?...David!! (lights fade as he exits)
Fade to BLACK Lights come up stage left to reveal Angela in a bed with her husband . . . Andre.
Andre: Angela . . . wake up, honey. Who's David? Honey, who's David?
Angela: (startled that she is now awake and with Andre) Andre? (Still sobbing) Andre . . . Andre . . . we have to talk.
Fade to BLACK. The End.
The characters contained in "We Have To Talk" are fictional. Any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Any copying, reproduction or performance of the above material, in any medium, without the express written permission of the author is strictly prohibited by law.
© Gaetano LaMotta 1994,2002
My Drew Carey Show Spec Script
